I mentioned that I hate canned asparagus in the top ten grossest foods blog, but I think it deserves its own blog.
When Camm and I were getting married, his sweet little grandmother gave us a bunch of canned foods. The asparagus was one of the cans that never looked too appetizing.
A couple of days ago Camm decided he wanted to cook dinner. I decided I’d make a side to go with the wonderful chicken I could smell. I looked around the house—in the fridge, the pantry, other random cupboards—but I couldn’t really find ANYTHING (that’s when you know it is time to go grocery shopping). Then I came across the asparagus. Hmmm…Can’t be too bad. I love fresh asparagus.
Since I’ve never eaten it or cooked it, I went to the internet to find out what to do with canned asparagus. I found a couple of things as follows:
“I totally disagree with asparagus in a can. I think it tastes awful.”[i]
“Oh, canned is not a good way to experience Asparagus for the first time....It is very good but be ware that it is much better fresh and steamed….PLEASE DO NOT EAT Asparagus out of the can. It would be an awful way to eat it for the first time. It's so nasty out of a can! Go to the grocery store and buy fresh!”[ii]
Of course, these comments didn’t stop me from wanting to try it. After all, we had it. I couldn’t just throw it away, right?
So I chose to sauté it. What should I season it with? I thought. I rummaged through the cupboards and just started putting things in it.
Oregano . . . cilantro . . . oh there’s some Ramen seasoning—may as well try it . . . salt . . . garlic . . .
I reasoned that with all that seasoning, it couldn’t possibly be gross.
Camm made beautifully delicious chicken. The asparagus, on the other hand, was not beautiful, not delicious, and not something I ever want to experience again.
So, I grabbed the dish and headed for the trash. Camm stopped me and urged me to throw it outside, “We need it as far away as possible.”
I opened the back door and TOSSED it. Somehow I tossed it right onto the side of my house.
I think next year I’ll use this instead of a Christmas wreath.