Advice Needed...

So I need some advice. I realized that I just graduated with my Master's degree, and I have NO clue what I want to do in life. I am about to finish teaching at the local college, and will be joining my hub in the small town (I'm very excited--living out of a suitcase in my mom's basement is only fun for so long)...

So I feel like that scene in Dumb and Dumber. Here it is on youtube (just the very first part of this clip). But the main dialogue goes like this:

"I can't believe we drove around all day and there is not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip."
"Yeah, unless you wanna work 40 hours per week."

Seriously, who does wanna work 40 hours per week?

Ok, so here I am left wanting a job that is 20 hours per week, very flexible hours, some of the hours can be done at home....does this job exist? Yes, it is called being a graduate student research assistant. That's the job that I had until I graduated. Now what?

I can possibly continue teaching at the local college. My application is in. And truthfully, teaching one class probably won't be that bad. It's not 40 hours at least. But, the main problem is, I don't LOVE teaching. It's ok. but I don't love it.
How do I look as a teacher?

I don't actually wear glasses, but I thought I would look smarter and more like a teacher with them on. Hopefully my students would peg me for at least a little older than I am. I try so hard to not let them know I'm 25.

So I also applied to teach an online class. That seems pretty easy. You don't even have to go anywhere. I can stay in my pajamas if I want. The problem with this, though, is it takes absolutely everything fun out of teaching (getting to know your students) and leaves everything lame about teaching--like designing the course, grading papers, and worst of all--responding to angry emails:

Note 1: This is a direct quote from a real email I actually received (spelling error and all)
Note 2: Those are angry bolts coming out of the computer.
Note 3: That's a computer

So, online teaching really doesn't sound fun.

OK, so I need to ask myself what I REALLY want to do.
I found a journal from seventh grade where I said I wanted to be a brain surgeon when I grew up. Now the idea grosses me out:

(not to mention the years of medical school I don't want to do)

I think my dream is to actually be Ira Glass's (from This American Life) assistant. I would do pre-interviews and fact checking. It would almost be like I was a detective--except a lot less scary and a lot more fun.
I can see the headline now:

Besides the fact that I would need a LOT of experience before I could get the job--not to mention at least a class in journalism--I think this is one of those LAME 40 hour per week jobs.

So, other ideas...

Artist? um, well you've seen my artwork.

Musician? um, haven't touched that clarinet since high school graduation

 

A triathlete? um, Can't ride a bike so well. Fall off WAY too easily.

OK, guys, here's where you come in. I NEED some advice. What on earth should I be when I grow up? (and I think "when I grow up" is about NOW--that's the problem).