Saturday, November 19, 2011

Teaching at the local college...

The thing I’ve enjoyed most about nearing the end of this semester is receiving emails from a number of students who think I’m nice.
One student emails me, totally frazzled (having not turned in 5 homework assignments, having missed 40% of the classes, and obviously having failed the midterm). “Miriam,” he writes, “I just need to know if there’s some way I can turn my grade around.” “Yes,” I tell him, “try doing your homework, coming to class, and studying for the final. Those three things are bound to help.” Amazingly, he acts grateful for the words of advice I give him. Did he think that what I told him was somehow magical?
Another student: “I’m sorry I miss class every week. Its because I’m on the track team and we have to travel every week.” I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but I do see a mystery here. It’s fall and he is already traveling every week. The student goes on, “you can call my track coach if you’d like.” What the heck, I think. May  as well call him. Nothing to lose. Maybe the kid is telling the truth. I call “Hi, is this the track coach?” “No ma’am, you have the wrong number.” Ok, maybe the kid typed the number wrong on the email. I respond to the kid, “The number you gave me was wrong.” I have never gotten another response from him nor have I seen him in class since.
A particularly demanding student: “I realized I’m failing the course and my counselor told me I need to withdraw. You need to sign a paper for it but I can’t come during class time. Can I meet you some other time?” OK buddy. I’m adjunct faculty and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but at your school that means I don’t have an office. I am never on campus except to teach. I hope I didn’t offend him too much by saying I wasn’t going to make a special trip to campus to sign a paper so that a student who is failing will only receive a “W”. Am I cruel?
And my favorite: “Sorry I missed taking the midterm three weeks ago. Its just that my grandmother pasted away.” What? She pasted away? What does that even mean? Perhaps one of the following things:

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Before I get too far into this blogging, I need to make it clear that I have the cutest baby in the world and the most fantastic hub in the world. Here's some pictures to show off.
First, here's my baby cute as can be. She's almost smiling here. She usually makes it clear that she thinks this sweater is ridiculous every time I put it on her. But I put it on her anyway... (it's cute, don't you think?)

 Ruby doing her kicks sporting her shirt Aunt Kara got for her (an ice cream cone and a donut jumping through a sprinkler). Not sure where those slippers came from, but I wish I had a pair:

                                      OK, check out that dimple. That melts my heart every day!

This is her the first time she ever ate solids. Wide eyed and begging for more.

                   "Come on mom, stop taking the pictures. I'm trying to hang out with my daddy over here."

                      "OK mom. I'll be in this picture with you this time. But I am not going to smile for it."

                                                       Is that an Elvis face she's giving us?

Don't know why I bought her an outfit that looks like an inmate. But she sure seems happy in it anyway. I guess if you're going to be in inmate clothes it's ok as long as you're lying on top of cool psychodellic (spelling?) fabric.

                                                         There's my girl. Cute as can be.

                I think she got drunk sucking on the elephant's trunk. I didn't know it was so dangerous.

Cell phones...

Reasons why I am mad at cell phones:
1. Everyone thinks they can get a hold of me at any time. There's no way to say I didn't answer because I wasn't home. I have to make up something about how my phone was on silent or I had bad reception
2. I always miss the phone when I am at home. The one time I like talking on the phone (at home) I miss it. I set it down because who loves their cell phone jabbing them in the butt from their back pocket when their in the comfort of their own home. Then, if you go to the other side of the house, its over. You don't hear it. So you miss the call. Rats.
3. Have you ever called someone, then realized you called the wrong number so you hung up? Then 10 seconds later you get a call, "um, yeah, I just had a missed call from this number on my phone." Thanks buddy. If I'd wanted to talk to you I would have stayed on the line. I hung up for a reason.
4. Sometimes when I am at home I turn my phone onto full blast so that I don't miss the call when I am one room over. Then I happen to be in the same room as it when it does go off and I feel like a fool as the snake charmer song (one of the free ring tones) goes off full blast.
5. Texting. Are we too cool to talk to each other anymore? Too nervous? Don't have the energy? What's the big deal.
6. I know I don't have a cool smartphone or iphone (are those the same thing?) but I am still a decent person, I'd like you all to know.
7. I am so dependent on it. I walk into a building that has bad reception and I feel like my entire life has collapsed. "What if someone is trying to get a hold of me?" "What's going to happen?" Let's be honest, Miriam, no one needs to talk to me that badly.
8. For a while I stopped bringing my phone to school. "Too distracting" I decided. Why? "Not because people are calling me all the time, but because I am always checking to see if someone does call me"
9. Did you know that "Cell" is an acronym? Can't-Ever-Live-Life
10. All I want for Christmas is a landline...

First Mlog and Clog

Mlog and Clog--not too creative. Just meshed the first letter of my name with "blog" then did the same for my husband. Thought about doing it for my baby too, but "Rlog" is a little hard to get off the tongue.
I guess I should talk about why I am starting this blog. First, having two part time jobs, trying to finish grad school and having a little one isn't enough for me. I need something else to occupy my time. Second, I want to make millions and I just know that my blog will become America's top mommy blog in a week. haha. Third, sounds like fun.
So let's get started as you hear about all my rants...