My type of sports

For those of you who don't know, my two favorite sports are running and swimming. These are two sports that the rest of the world only cares about once every four years for a three week period of time when they're on the olympics. But I actually like doing them all the time. Most people have never even been to a swim meet. Most people aren't even sad they've never been to one.

I don't understand why people wouldn't want to go to a swim meet...

So anyway, when I moved here, I decided I wanted to try something really fun: ROWING! So I emailed the president of the local rowing team and have been attending practices for the past few weeks.

This week I decided to make sure to watch rowing on the Olympics since I'm taking the sport up. After one heat, I turned to Camm and said, "The two sports I enjoy the most (swimming and running) are two of the most boring sports to watch. But now I'm taking up a sport which is even more boring to watch--didn't know that was possible." I mean, at least people like watching swimming and running once every four years. I'm not even sure that rowing has that going for itself.

Why I Never Made it to Baywatch

When I was sixteen I had my first job as a lifeguard. “Cool job!” I thought, “I’ll make tons of money ($5.50) and all I have to do is sit there.” I took the course and soon was hired at two local pools.

One day as I was half asleep in the lifeguard stand I was rudely interrupted by a stocky fifteen year old kid. “What do you want?” I look down at him. I feel all-powerful up in my chair looking down at the boy who is a whole year younger than me.

Him: Do you have an aspirin?

Me: No. Why would you need an aspirin?

Him: No, it’s just that my friend just hit her head and she has a headache.

Me: SHE HIT HER HEAD?

Him: Yeah.

SIRENS GO OFF IN MY MIND AS I HAVE FLASHBACKS OF LIFEGUARD TRAINING.

“If someone hits their head,” my teacher had explained, “they have a likely chance of a spinal injury and you must treat them accordingly.”

I blew my whistle and jumped in the pool. Only then did I realize I didn’t know who the girl was. Patrons stared at me as I swam around mindlessly. The other lifeguards looked bewildered from their stands. I swam to one girl, “Did you hit your head?” “Uh, no.” Strike one. I swim to another girl, “Did you hit your head?” She says yes but looks confused. She is about fifteen and there at the pool with her friends. “Per protocol, we have to backboard you to ensure that there is no spinal injury.” I motion for the other guard to bring the backboard. We strap her to it. She is embarrassed as can be as her friends watch in awe.

To make a long story short, since she was an unaccompanied minor, we had to call the paramedics. They came only to un-strap her and tell her that she was fine.

The good news as she told me: “Well, I don’t have a headache anymore.”

turtle mir

When I first got married I had about 2 weeks in between my honeymoon and before I started grad school. Camm was working during that time, so I was at home playing house. Every morning I would wake up with Camm and when he left for work I would ride Camm’s bike to the pool and go swimming. I carried my large blue Speedo backpack from high school every day.

One particular day I decided to stop at a grocery store on the way home to see if they had any produce on sale. I figured it would fit in my extra-large backpack without any problem. I locked my bike up outside and went in.

As I was filling up my shopping cart I looked down at the set of keys I was carrying and realized that the set of keys I was carrying was missing the key to the bike lock. I figured it couldn’t be too far since I had just locked up the bike. I began scanning the aisles. It couldn’t be too far, right? I started to get desperate. I started to crouch down to see if it was nearby. I started to panic and I got on my hands and knees to look under the fruit stands. I looked like a blue turtle crawling on the ground.

Along came an employee, “Excuse me, can I help you find something?”

“Uh, its just that I can’t find my key to my bike lock,” now not only was I feeling desperate, I was feeling a twinge of embarrassment.

The employee looked around for a few seconds, then disappeared. When he came back he was carrying a saw, “Would you like me to saw the lock off?” I could think of no options but to take him up on the offer.

I left feeling embarrassed. More than that though, I realized that I had ruined Camm’s bike lock (we’d been only married a few weeks). I was determined to get him a new one before he got home. There was a sporting goods store on my way home that I thought was sure to have it. I walked in (still with the large blue backpack but now full of fruit). They didn’t have one but suggested I go to the bike store down the street.

Upon entering, I told the salesman that I needed a bike lock. He recommended one to me that he said was “perfect because it is so long and can fit two bikes.” I believed him and decided if I bought it, Camm would never know the difference.

Little did I know, it is so long that I could not only hook up two bikes, but possibly five or ten. 

Camm did notice.