Thursday, March 15, 2012

Caveman Camm on Laughing Gas

Do you remember the post I did about Camm's sleep talking? If that entertained you, listen to this one:

About a year ago Camm went to the dentist for a usual check-up. They told him that he needed to have a minor surgery to snip that little piece of skin that goes from your top lip to your gum. Apparently his was too long. They told him the procedure was very minimal and that he'd be able to drive home afterward. So he made an appointment and in a few weeks he was back at the dental chair.
The one thing you can always be sure of when you go to the dentist is that you won't be opening your mouth wide enough. "OPEN YOUR MOUTH!" yells the dentist and your cheeks are burning from being open so long
I had told him ahead of time that I would be in a work meeting when he got out, but that I would gladly come home after the meeting to take care of him.
"Oh no problem," he assured me, "I'll be just fine." 
During my meeting I felt my phone vibrate. I noticed Camm was calling me. I quickly silenced it as I wondered why he would call if he knew I was in a meeting.
A couple seconds later my phone vibrated again. Again, I silenced it.
That's a vibrating cell phone on the desk (not a bag of burning popcorn--in case you were wondering)

After the third time, I responded with a text, "Camm, stop calling me. I'm in a meeting." (I know, real kind, huh?)
I then received a text back, "He say me no drive. Come you now."
Huh? What does that even mean.
I responded something profound like, "Uh...What?"
"No drive. Come you."
I started getting the picture that he needed a ride. Unfortunately, he had our only car. I kept thinking, "Wait, I need a ride. I have no car. Camm doesn't." 
I got out of the meeting and gave him a call. I only heard a couple grunts then the hygienist took over. "Your husband needs a ride home. He is in no condition to drive." 
Obviously I was worried. I called Camm's mom and explained I had no car but needed to pick Camm up. She was worried as well and quickly drove me to the dentist's office. When I walked in the receptionist told me Camm was in the back. 
"Hey Camm! How are you?" I was excited to see him.
"Grr...mmm...bbb," he replied.
The dentist looked at him, "Camm, its ok to use your words now. You know how to talk."
Camm looked up at him, "Brr..llll....nnnn." He looked so serious yet was talking complete jibberish.
The dentist looked at me, "Apparently laughing gas really does a number on him. He just needs to sleep it off.
"Hey babe, let's go home," I said calmly. 
"Goo goo," he replied and I assumed that meant he was ready.
As we walked past the receptionist Camm looked at me almost panic stricken, "Momomomomo!"
"Uh, Camm, Let's go home," I tried to respond but before I knew it Camm had removed his wallet from his pocket and had chucked it right at the receptionist."
"Pay! Pay! Pay!" He now uttered his first word.
The receptionist handed back the wallet and said he would bill us later.
That didn't satisfy Camm. He kept trying to give the wallet back to the receptionist as I drug him out of the office.
Finally we arrived at home and I tucked Camm right into bed. I was in the kitchen when all of the sudden I saw Camm crawling in. (Yes, I typed that right. He was crawling in. Literally crawling.)
This is not a dog, not a cat, not a baby. This is Caveman Camm himself.

I watched him carefully as he snuck in, reached up to the kitchen table where a DVD was laying, grabbed it, and quickly crawled out.
I followed into the bedroom and said, "Uh, Camm. Any particular reason why you crawled in to get that DVD?"
"You no me let watch DVD," he replied almost emphatically.
"You don't think I'll let you watch a movie?"
"You no let me," he was almost mad.
"Camm, have I ever not let you do something before?" I asked.
He was dumbfounded, "You no let me watch movie today."
"Camm, I can turn it on for you if you want."
"You let Camm do watch?"
I turned it on and we sat together watching the movie: Regular ol' Mir with Caveman Camm at his best.

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  1. Can't figure out how to vote. Do I just click?

    1. Yes, you just click. They just tally up how many people got to their website from my blog. Thanks for doing it!

  2. Aaah nothing brings laughing tears to my eyes as quickly as Caveman Camm. That was just awesome.

  3. I had to help my husband pee the first time I brought him home with laughing gas. After almost carrying him in from the car. Quite the memorable experience.