Thursday, February 16, 2012

Rescue 911: or my first "Crazy Mother Story"

Growing up my cousins and I would always get together and tell "crazy mother stories" about all of the absolutely crazy things our mothers would do. This was my first crazy mother story that came when Ruby was only in the womb. 
I wrote this as an email to my mother on December 10, 2010 (when I was in the midst of my first trimester of pregnancy). 

I got home from school today and walked in the door and my house stunk like gas. Naturally, I was worried and asked Camm if he smelled it. He said, "kind of". I thought he was crazy for not being more concerned about it and of course I knew that there was a terrible gas leak in our house. I quickly called the Orem city fire department and told them that I came in and smelled gas in the house. The fireman I talked to said I needed to hang up and dial 911. I called 911 and told them and they said to evacuate the house and wait for the fire department to come. I told Camm that we needed to clear out and we went outside to wait.
As if waiting on the front porch would save us from an explosion

Shortly thereafter we heard the sirens bellowing through our little neighborhood. Up pulled the firetruck and the ambulance. In an epic moment the 6 firefighters get out and ask what the problem is (I found this picture which kind of illustrates the feelings I had for them who were coming to save the day).

photo courtesy of
We (I mean, I) sent them inside with explicit instructions about how the house reeked of gas and we all were about to explode. 
They went in for a couple minutes and then they came out and said, "Now, where exactly did you smell the gas?" 
(At this point I started feeling angry. "Are they stupid?" I wondered)
I said, "Right inside--everywhere". They stared at me bewildered and I realized I needed to take matters into my own hands.  I walked inside the house (where I was sure I was going to explode) and said in a completely perturbed tone, "You can't smell that?!" I saw them exchange confused glances. 
To be nice I'm sure, I saw them take out their gas detecting machines and walk around the house pretending to do something. Obviously they thought I was crazy.
Meanwhile, Camm was just standing in the background trying to not get on his pregnant wife's bad side. 
Finally one of the firefighters said to me, "Is there any chance someone in the household is pregnant?" I admitted that I was prego. Immediately they bust up laughing as the female firefighter said she'd told them she knew I had to be pregnant to be smelling something that not even the detector could pick up. They quickly left the house.
Fifteen minutes later the bishop called from our church and said, "I have gotten word that you have had an accident at your house. Is everything alright?" Thanks, as if it weren't the most embarrassing experience of my life. Let's just top it off.
And there we have it, my first crazy mother story.

And here's my new idea:
Pregnant Women: the new gas detectors.