top ten

As the end of the year approaches, we are inundated with top 10 lists.

2011 TOP TEN_______________(fill in the blank with any number of things: actors, actresses, athletes, movies, youtubes, baby names, vacation spots, places to live, people, companies to work for, restaurants, healthy foods, or anything else you could possibly think of)

So, obviously I have to write my own top ten list to just to fit in (granted, I’m sure this top ten list has been written by someone else at some point).

TOP TEN WORST FOODS PEOPLE EAT (in abc order):

10. Anchovies—with all of the delicious seafood in the world, who decided anchovies were something worth eating?

9. Canned asparagus. I’d never had it before but I found a can in the back of our pantry the other day. I sautéed them up and . . . (drum roll) . . . I came up with something so disgusting I couldn’t even get one piece of it to slither down the throat.

8. Cheesecake—I know, I know. Everyone likes this. But me. Its just that every time I bite into the beautifully decorated masterpiece that looks absolutely stunning, I am rudely interrupted by a terrible taste of . . . cheese? Why would I want to eat cheese  if I am eating cake?

7. Green Beans—I didn’t actually know these were so bad until I saw my baby utterly refuse to eat them. I put them in her mouth and she stuck her tongue full of green beans out as far as she could until every last particle slid off. She then grabbed her bib and used it to wipe off the taste in her mouth. When I switched to something that she did like, she kept staring at it to make sure it wasn’t the wretched green beans.

6. Hot N Spicy Ramen Noodles. Admittedly, I haven’t tried it. But just the look on the package made me sick to my stomach.

5. Mushrooms. I don’t eat fungus.

4. Off-brand Graham Crackers. Can anyone say “cardboard”?

3. Over-priced low-quality pizza. I like pizza. But have you ever been to a supposedly “nice” pizza place (you know it is supposed to be nice because the lights are so dark you can barely see your fork and a personal pizza costs $20)? You spend your $20, get your super thin-sliced thing they call pizza, and are left still starving.

2. Subway’s tomatoes—ever noticed that they are always white? Tomatoes are supposed to be red.

1. Sushi. We all know that all it is is cold rice, seaweed and raw fish. Appetizing? Everyone says they love it only because it is the new, cool, and trendy food to eat. It is a modern day Emperor’s New Clothes situation.

What things would you add to the list?